Never say Goodbye..

This one was created in December'09. When I first got to know how does it feel to part from people you hold close to your heart!

It was farewell time.. Psenti semites were about to leave.. And I wrote this down for one very special frnd! 

It's farewell time again friends.. Some of you are again , about to leave.. 

I never thought I'd ever publish this one..

But somehow tonight I realised the importance of this word- Goodbye.. and couldn't help putting it up..

This one is for you- all my psenti semite frnds.. To tell you guys that , I care!

You are about to leave..

but i dont wanna say goodbye to u..

You will  probably never return again..

but i dont wanna say goodbye to u..

I was never strong enpough to admit..

That i need you by my side..

I miss you when you are not with me..

I miss all those moments.. when together we laughed, together we cried..

Yes i was never strong enough..

to tell u that i care..

Was never strong enough to ask u to share a smoke..

Even as, through the corridor , I used to stare..

Yes.. I was never strong enough..

To tell u all those little things that were left unsaid..

Which gradually led us to two different worlds of ours..

And two separate ways that we tread..

Yes.. I took things for granted at times..

But that was just my sheer confidence in you..

That you will never separate ways..

But to err is human.. Me and you..

Let the past rest in peace ..

For we don't have much of the present in our hands..

The future remains uncertain..

But I commit to the tightening up of all left loose strands..

Yes you are about to leave..

But trust me.. I dont wanna say goodbye to u..

I believe there is still a lot o flife left for me..

To enjoy , like we once did, with u..

I hate letting my emotions out.

BUt I will make an exception today.

I will miss u my friend..

That's all I can say..

You are about to leave..

But I dont wanna say goodbye to u..

Just remember there is one guy somewhere..

Who will always there be for u..

Through all ups and downs of this life..

You shall find me ready next to u..

Yes.. YOu are about to leave..

But I shall never say goodbye to u..

Yes you got u got it right.

I wont say goodbye to u..

i hope to stay with you in your memories..

And that's why i shall never say goodbye to u..

Yes u got it right my friend..

This guy will never say goodbye to u..

Stay in touch brother..

It's about all those times, good and bad, shared between me and you..

Dont ever say goodbye to me..

Because.. I will never be able to say goodbye to u..

Yes bro, I will never say good bye to u..

You just had to go!

You had to go..

Oh yes, I knew it then..

As i know it now..

You had to go..

When i first wrote to u..

At the back of my mind, 

I knew u had to go..

But if only you could be a little kind..

To spend some time..

For the sake of the effort..

Alas.. You could not..

As I said, U had to go..

I won't wish u luck ahead.

Nor say it was a pleasure knowing u ..

Whatever little i could..

you see, I ain't any holier than u!

Two separate worlds..

Two separate ways..

Two separate people..

How could I ask u to stay..

When providence had already decided..

Bags had to be packed..

As i always knew..

It was time for u to go..

Now That you are gone..

This is a goodbye from my side..

We can atleast pretend we had one..

And ,by the laws of prudence, abide..

Both of us shall be perfectly fine..

No doubts about that..

No regrets, As i always knew..

One day u had to go..

It turned out a little sooner than expected..

But how does it matter..

Both of us always knew..

You just had to go..

Let Me Be !

Forgive me Lord..

For I no longer want to be YOu!

Your plans can all wait..

For am tired of being you!

Never realised when a normal happy child,

Transformed into a wannabe perfectionist..

Big dreams , Strong aspirations..

Made way to reminiscenes, As consciousness around ceased to exist..

I want my old ways back..

I want to be a lesser mortal like the crowd around!

I want to fall, and not be able to stand back on my feet all by myself..

So that i can find a helping hand, And test my ground!

Why should it always be me 

To catch people when they stumble..

To give them a life when they lose it all..

To take shit and backstabs, and still stay calm and humble..

 

I want to commit mistakes, 

And not be able to rectify them,,

I wish to cry , shed some real tears..

And not  be able to raise my hands to wipe them..

The turbulence inside is hard to pen down..

I've heard you care for your men..

You made me this, Am not sure about what exactly u thought..

But this is it for me, I no longer can bear this pain..

Legend has it that Men were born to be men..

In my folly of trying to play you,

I failed, to my pleasure..

The beginning has been scripted, now guide me through.. 

Take your blessings and boons away,

And let it just be..

I wan't to be a normal man..

I just want to be me!

Providence and You.

Life is a journey , they say..

Strangers beyond count meet you on your way..

You phase out many of them..

Some stay put for a longer period of time..

But that day shall come,

When you chuck them out too..

For you, are one lonely traveller,

traversing cosmic distances on an elusive planet..

a planet inhabited by morons..

Morons, Just like you,, Just like me..

coming together to meet some end..

And setting out to look for newer ones ..

For a newer task ahead..

Providence , I believe is a strong yielding stick..

Directs you at times like a magical wand..

At times, comes down harshly on your rear,,

In the end, proving it's superiority on us..

You may scream out of disgust.

Or yell out of anger,.

Cry out of pain..

or beg for mercy...

U can laugh, make fun..

U can run , but not hide..

You can try ..

But providence shall finally rule high..

Surrender your decisions unto it..

And lie peacefully as you always wished to.

I can't join u in this endeavour of yours.

For am still in a mood to challenge the odds..

There is still a lot of strength left in this small heart of mine..

I bid u adieu forever..

As i have decided to move on.

I don't give a damn about ur worthless existence..

Go! Die the shameless death u deserve..

While i move on to the next milestone of my life..

Rest in peace..

I shall pray for your liberation..

Coz You can do no good to this world..

Sleep well..sleep forever.. 

And yeah..I must concede today..

It was never a pleasure having known you..

I can see it coming !

The time is near..

Yes, I have begun to sense it..

Prolonged Experiences make it clear..

My time is near..

And I dont really mind

For I Have grown so tired, just trying to be..

I need a lap to rest my head upon..

But it keeps eluding me..

I dont have the strength to put up a fight.

Resistance is not an option..

Succumbing to the devil's call, 

Seems the wisest and easiest of all..

I don't know if u see it ,

But i must concede..

I feel it coming..

This seems so real indeed!

Have so much left to do,

Some responsibilities unfulfilled..

But Tonight I want to be free  ..

In the memory of all the time that I've killed..

Time I killed with dope and caffeine..

With the conscious pursual of joblesness..

I wish to end all of it now..

To get rid of this self created mess..

The time is near ..

Hold me close dear..

'Cause whether u like it or not..

My time is near..

Neither is it a choice for me..

But the end is near..

Am sorry, I cant help folks..

The truth remains-

"My time is near.."

The Chase !

The burning sun, the nearly still air,

People on the asphalt road commuting,

n there amdist them, hastily walked a man in black,

with sweat all over his face, dripping..

With a heart beating like a horse galloping ,

gripped by the fear of the unknown ,

Cluelessly walking, locating the unseen,

intermittently kicking the odd roadside stone..

A hand waved at some distance,

Erupting a rage of unwanted emotions somewhere..

The unseen had been located,

to hell with everythin else, he just didnt care..

what followed was hours of bewilderness..

no ideas , only cluelessness..

He talked senseless shit,

the fear still churning his stomach pit..

time rolled by.. and once again,

He was there standing alone,

in the middle of a world working just fine,

yeah, he didnt want to go back home..

why remains the question still unanswered,

even he didnt know..

Stood there with frozen steps, forget the sun,

guzzling out smoke, deciding where to go..

He moved on, yes he did..

n got lost in the crowd...

a million thoughts flooding his mind,

n he knew why before u sow seeds, the field must be ploughed!

but no point realising anything now,

it was all over, the moment was gone,

All he was left with were some incredible memories,

And an unknown bliss,as he pondered till dawn..

This is life , as we know it,

Forget the ever troubling lows,

Find a reason to live, 

in small celebrations that it bestows..

We were born human,

we were born to Chase endlessly,

So chase, and u shall find peace,

Just like the boy i mentioned,who is now back home resting comfortably...

Reminiscence !

I once loved you , that’s so true..

But am afraid that was not meant for u..

U never understood, never appreciated..

Though the love has died, the affection has not yet depreciated.

 

The distances have made it grow stronger,

and healthier  for sure..

heavens bear testimony to the fact,

This one is indeed serene and pure..

 

I ought to thank u..

for teaching me things i never knew..

Loneliness can help find peace,

and that , relations which can last are only few..

 

I never complain..

I stopped doing that some years back..

Life is so good,with or without u..

With those memories still with me, nothing does it lack..

 

Relations are enjoyed together,

But even if thats not the case,

Memories that they engrave in our hearts,

Are worthy enough to happily embrace..

 

 

Glimpses of past, sometimes when am fast asleep,

leave a smile on my face that i can’t see..

But when i wake up so fresh and happy the next morning..

I wish let life, this way, be..

 

This piece of literary shit is a tribute..

To u.. to all those moments that made me what i am today..

Thanx for all this and more,

I have a debt upon you that i can never repay..

 

Those flashbacks have again started pinning my mind,

It’s time to give them their share of attention..

I have to retire now, can’t afford to let them go.

They are, afterall my most precious possession..

 

So, i bid u adieu..

with a message for u..

There were some people who cared for u..

But who still could not be yours..

If u can’t do anything more, atleast ensure..

They get one small corner in that big sweet heart of yours!