A loser's promises to keep!

Change, they say, is the only thing permanent ,
but my life seems to be on a fixed circular track,
traversing through some fallaciously new places,
Finally to this joblessness, coming back...

months have passed since i last wrote something,
that doesnt mean i had some job to do,
just that i was trying to find,
something actually meaningful to do...

but the hopelessly idle bugger that I am,
never found somthing to look upto..
cause it's become more of a habit ,
to while away time as I always do..

I see people dying to make out the best of the life they have,
i see them finding satisfcation through even failed trials..
thats a better life atleast, considering
the pathetic imbalance of my phlegm, gases and biles..

I never thought i would one day crave to be like them,
the pretentious, big-time losers, that i always thought them to be..
But then the creator wanted us to be like this,
else how could u diffrentiate him from me?

At the end of the day, its not them but me,
who turns out to be the biggest loser,
'cause as i wish everyday that i better be like them,
not even an inch to the goal, do i move closer..

In my quest to be God,
No doubt,I miserably failed,
the purpose is not served,
life has completely ,off the track, derailed..


so, i would better try giving in my best,
to be as human, as ignorant as I can..
to be lost in the ashes of time,
Is the destiny of man..

there is still some time left, i guess..
for me to rest in peace..
But i think i should now retire to bed,
and try to lie in some hypothetical ease..

I wonder why my eyelids have stopped dropping,
it been ages since i peacefully slept,
seems it's miles to go before i sleep,
And a thousand promises that need to be kept...

Butter, Bread and a lil pepper..

This is again one of those nights,
restless, jobless, hopeless..
What's this feeling inside
It's hard to guess!

I wonder why my fingers move,
what do they try to write?
it feels absolutely dark around
though this tube glows so bright..

There indeed is this hallucination of illumination,
but this is not the light I seek,
I long for the one,that promises a future,
better than the one in store for me now! so dark, so bleak!


People say its close, but
where? here? no? there? no?
ohh there? no? then there? no!
I give up! maybe there's nowhere to go.
but is this where am supposed to start from?
where? here? no? there? no?
ohh there? no? then there? no!
ohh.. am Lost!

The strong Man , i usually am,
says "we still can"..
The timid boy, deep inside of me, ,
asks " how the hell, man"?

The three of us sit together,
here tonight..
Arguing hard..
everyone's in a mood to fight!

Not even a minute,
And I pull out..
realising thr's not much I can do..
in this opponentless bout!

Yes, Let them argue ,
as they always will,
They are integral to me,
But let them still..

For tomorrow when we get up ,
after a gud sleep,
the three of us will still be together,
with individual promises to keep!

So, its time to grab the textbook,
cant afford to screw up my test!
Till the two are engaged,
I shud mugg up lessons and take some rest!!

Yes.. we are friends but
sometimes i hav to get them engaged..
to escape futile thinking,
And work to secure my butter and bread!

In this ocean of oppurtunities,
I hav failed to catch even a drop!
They were right when they said,
Life is afterall not a lollipop!

Try, is all I can do,
to work out my way to the top,
its time to solve equations and numericals,
goodbye thoughts, here I stop!

Random Start..

I start typing, having nthn to do..
have to kill time , yes i have to..
Times have always been bad..
nothing new to turn me sad..

But there sure is a void sumwhr within..
can't help but it leaves me wondering..
Why hav i stagnated at the very first step..
when othrs around hav been moving..

They hav marched ahead..
leaving me far behind..
Most of them i dont care for..
but even those wid whom i had peace to find!

As if i care.. not really..
'coz there is hardly any time..
Yes time.. thats wht i need to hold on..
I dnt wanna waste my prime!

I see mortals faking reasons..
to keep themselves happy and content..
Shud I giv up n be one of them..
Or still fight n later repent..

I dont remember exactly..
the last time i tasted success.
Life gives u everythin..
so wht if failures in excess..

I feel like fighting..
for a set of self constiuted principles..
Modifiable as and when needed..
Am not one of those destiny's disciples!!

But thats where the problem lies..
there is so much to think over,,
but nothin in my limits to do..
I end up as just another loser!

Even my words desert me ..
when i so desparately need them at times..
They force me to stop here..
supposedly at their mercy like a beggar asking for dimes..

I do stop here..
but only with a ray of hope..
May be tomorrow i shall be back again..
activating my grey cells with their share of dope!!